Break Up Anniversary

  No way to sugar-coat it, breaking up sucks. The one I alluded to above was my recent, and no doubt it hurts. Everyone here will tell you time heals all wounds - and this is 100% true.
I think it was about 3 weeks post-break up before I was able to start to function properly again. It takes time. Don't push it, and it will come.
   3 months post-break up, I finally had my epiphany that I needed to move on. My biggest regret was spending the first 2 months thinking we would get back together. I think it's only natural to hope for that, but Since i can, I set those thoughts aside and gave myself time to heal before thinking about any sort of reconciliation.
   One of the musicians I know, Sam Roberts, has a line in a song that says "stay true to your friends, cause they'll save you in the end". He's right. Don't sit in your room feeling sorry for yourself. Go out with your friends and go to the movies, shows, or the mall or anything. Don't be by yourself. Use your family as a similar resource coz that's what I did.
   A friend of mine, An Air force Officer used to come down to Kano from his base in Kaduna then, just to cheer me up and help me come out of the break-up, even though he sometimes mock me about it. I do watch some Indian and American series on TV so as to help me get off my Ex and to even crack a smile. That's a big deal post-break up!
   EVERYONE goes through this. Our parents did, our friends have, and same goes for our future soul mate. I felt like crap then, but it faded. So don't feel like you're alone, because you're not.
  I used music to my advantage. There are inevitably songs that reminds me of my ex. I deleted them then. I put them back on my MMC later. I listened to those songs that i can relate to in my current state. Quite frankly, they aren't hard to find! I did go for a walk by myself with my music gathering my thoughts.
   There is no rule that says you need to have contact or remain friends with your ex. I don't care how tight-knit your mutual circle of friends is. My ex and I had a ton of mutual friends. Things will work themselves out. You may lose contact with a couple of friends, but that's just the nature of life. Your true friends will stick to you, I'm glad mine did.
   In the same vein, I don't need to try to remain friends with the friends of my ex. Those who wanted to leave, I let them go coz they're going to be looking out for my ex before me, and i don't need to put up with that.
   Also I didn't make my friends choose sides. I don't wanna be like that. If my friends wants to stay in touch with both of us, I let them. Again, over time, it will work itself out and they'll likely drift away from one of us and closer to the other, which some did. I allowed the chips to fall where they may.
   If you must gather up all the love letters, pictures and gifts your ex gave you during your relationship and throw them away, then so be it. I put mine in a shoebox and have it under my bed. I don't ever look in it, but I figure I might want to look back on those memories years or decades from now. When I'm old and grey, I think that box might be fun to look through again.
   Some may disagree with this point, and I'll respect that, but a genuine hate for my ex is what got me over the hump and pushed me to move on. I won't go into details of what happened, but I went from wanting to get back together to never wanting to see her again. It helped immensely.
   No need to jump into another relationship to prove something to yourself or your ex or anyone else. I took as much time to mentally heal before even considering another relationship.
I'm only now at a place where I feel comfortable getting into another relationship. This is exactly 1 year post-break up. Everyone is different, but I took as much time as I needed . I sometimes slowly remember the perks of being single, not answering to anyone. Being able to check out girls who walk by without getting grief, doing what I want, when I want it.
   Every day, the pain becomes less and less. It took time, but at the end, i eventually bounced back stronger than ever.
I found some of my own songs that gets me through the break-up. One of mine is a song by Enrique Iglesias called "I will survive" here are my favourite lines:

"You like to think
That you'll be only one who understands me with it
And you tell everyone
That I can't live without you even for one day
But who gave you the right
To talk about the way I feel so deep inside

Now I realize, you were never mine, we were never right
Baby, you will find

I will survive
I'm gonna make it through
Just give me time
I will get over you

I will survive
No matter what you do
Just need to see
I will get over you

'Cause baby, we'll survive
'Cause baby, we'll survive

What makes you think
That I don't see the way you made a fool of me
To laugh behind my back
'Cause what goes around I promise you goes back

Our Sisters

 

What baffles me these days is the rate at which our sisters are trying to live in a world they don’t belong to, all they want is fame, not fame in the areas of morality, building good characters or emulating the ways of the salaf and our pious predecessors but that of the westerners and their allies. It still baffles me to look down 5 years back and see the damages done to our culture and traditions, how we’ve thrown away our cultures and adopt that of the west all in the name of civilisation. How our pious predecessors built and instilled in us what we call Morality and still its nowhere to be found in us these days.
If we look at the rate our Muslim sisters mostly Hausa’s abandoned our cultures and traditions for that of the west you’ll see that its so touching and mind boggling, if you look at these social networks such as twitter and facebook and see how our own Hausa muslim sisters are living their social life, u won’t only be surprised but shocked, anything dirty and nasty, you’ll see them topping the trend. They have no forecast about their future and how life will turn out to be for them after that. Displaying their semi-nude pictures on twitter all in the name of fashion and fame is no longer something new.
These social networking sites, despite their positive gains, have negative consequences too, once u post something nasty or dirty in these site, they’ll be there till eternity except if you delete them thereafter.
  You will all be surprised at the number of retweets a nasty post has from our sisters. They’re not in any way looking for a pious man as a spouse who will complete half their Deen and prepare them for the hereafter rather a man with ‘swag’ as it is the word trending these days for he will make them popular and famous. This #Imustbelong attitude of our sisters is something that’s setting us backward in terms of moving forward. Today our sisters have turn into something else, always dressing just as the kafr’s, wearing skinny jeans and skimpy skirts all in the name of attracting attentions. The word ‘BossLady’ is all they expect from you when you’re complementing them.
Throughout my interactions with female friends, I hardly come across any girl that is willing to settle down as a teenager except from a girl who is just 18. She hails from Kano state, but resides in Abuja and also who’s name I can’t mention here even though I’m compelled to because I’m really Impressed by her sane thinking.
Many of our Muslim sisters don’t think of settling down immediately after college, they prefer to go through the university before settling down, but today this particular teenager I’m talking about has proven that there are teenagers who thinks positively about their future.
Our sisters should stand up an act quickly about settling down rather than being a Bosslady because nowadays even the most immoral man wants a decent woman, but if you want to live a life of fame, Bosslady and a Big girl, there are little boys patiently waiting to help you destroy your future.
Exchanging nude pictures over social networks and Bbm isn’t an option, if he really want to see you that way then he should meet your waliy and pay for your dowry. Its all fun and games until nobody wants to pay for your dowry.
One thing again is that our sisters rot at home because the race to marry a Big Boy is what is trending too, most ladies nowadays can’t function if there aren’t cash involved and the urge for material things has changed the story of LOVE. A man with a good heart is better than a rich man with that of a beast, most women say they want security in life so they won’t date a poor man. Ladies if he is not rich today doesn’t mean he’ll forever live a poor man, besides, the happiness and security of your life is your own responsibility. Those who choose not to endure may have to suffer for long, Exotic vacations, fancy dinners, little boxes containing sparkly things… Sure dating a successful man has its perks but also comes with its shares of headache and heartaches.



NB:
This is just my opinion and nobody's, If you dont like it, feel free to close the page. whatever you say about me won’t change the way I think, all I know is that I’ve voiced out what I’m feeling about our sisters and will still do when the need arise again.

Happy Birthday Sub Lt U F Aminu

I've been waiting for this day for quite a long time now and all I have to say is Alhamdulillah for witnessing yet another day like this, a day to rejoice with "TORTURE" as you're fondly called by your mates in the academy.
  Its still in my memory how we went to Sahad stores to buy some perfumes and deodorants on a rented bike and how we rode wildly through out the ride which earned us curses from motorists and also how we beat up the Okada riders just coz we think we can beat them. Do you recall how we smashed the taxi driver's windshield and were arrested and detained? Do you recall how we used to visit the Indomie joints in Kano? And how we cruise with speed around town? The life we lived as teenagers is what we called teenage adventure, we do have a lot to tell our kids when they arrive. Lots of my friends do say "that cousin of yours don't like to talk" and I'll reply them by saying yeah he don't coz that's one quality of a soldier, not to be friendly.
ADIEU, soldier!
You of the rude campaigning, (which we shared,)
The rapid march, the life of the camp,
The hot contention of opposing fronts—the long manoeuvre,
Red battles with their slaughter,—the stimulus—the strong, terrific game,
Spell of all brave and manly hearts—the trains of Time through you, and like of you,
all fill’d, with war, and war’s expression.

Adieu, Torture!
Your mission is fulfill’d but I, more warlike,
Myself, and this contentious soul of mine,
Still on our own campaigning bound,
Through untried roads, with ambushes, opponents lined,
Through many a sharp defeat and many a crisis often baffled,
Here marching, ever marching on, a war fight out aye here,
To fiercer, weightier battles give expression.

Happy Birthday Bro, may Allah continue to Bless u in all your endeavors.

Choice

The choices we make are irreversible. We cannot hit the "rewind" button to that part of our lives when we make stupid and thoughtless choices. Those choices that, when we look back at it, we ask ourselves the reason for such choices. It makes me laugh to think about the countless times when I would just wish I could go back to different moments in my life and change something. But I never could. I would, sometimes, wake up in the morning and hope that I had gone a day back. But it never was. I only keep moving forward. Isolated.Choices are never isolated. One thing usually leads to another. Sad part, most of our stupid choices lead to some other stupid choices. REASON, because we never learn. we refuse to keep moving forward and instead, stop and pause and wish to go back. Rewind. We waste good opportunities to learn because all we see are stupid choices not learning experiences.Perception.Stupid choices are not facts, they are a matter of perception. stupid choices become barricades. Stupid choices become unopened windows. Your choice. They could be barricades that completely hinder you from moving forward. or they become unopened windows, those untapped opportunities that, once tapped and opened, could lead to something amazing. perception. Difference.Happiness. Satisfaction. Misery. Regret. The difference of how we perceive stupid mistakes lies in the emotional stance of the self.

Presidential debate 2011

It is believed that every Nigerian is Aspiring to have good governance and there is a global standard and global characteristics of good governance agreed by the world bank and united nations 1- Voice & Accountability 2- Political stability 3- Effectiveness in govt 4- Regulatory control 5- Rule of law 6- Control of corruption So if you want good governance, my advice to voters is to look at who among the candidates considering his past and his antescedence can guarantee the satisfaction of these six standards of good governance, whoever it is before you and your God vote for him.-- Mal Ibrahim Shekarau

A Tribute to an Icon Hajia Maijidda Danjuma Garko

I can recall clearly on the 6th August 2007, you said to me, and I quote “go and perform tawaf for me” and my eyes filled with tears; as it occurred to me that you’ve lost the battle with this monster called CANCER (Colon Cancer). In the early hours of 7th August 2007 a very young doctor on duty in his late 20’s asked me, and I quote “Mustafa go down to the mosque and get two copies of the holy Qur’an so we can read it out to your mother, it will soothe her pains away” that was when it occurred to me that there was absolutely nothing left a man can do to ease your pains.

I can still hear your voice echoing in my ears, when u were telling me not to cry as u have to answer the call of the most high. I put this tribute at a time of being emotionally traumatized by the pains and grief of u being miles away forever, but with a strong spirit sauced with the belief that u have accomplished loads of divine certification. The sterling attributes of being strong, hardworking, down to earth, dedication and commendable enthusiasm that were in your common nature are worthy of calling the muslim women to emulate.

It was 9:04am on the 7th of August 2007 that I answered a call from the doctor on duty in charge of the Intensive Care Unit (ICU, King Fahad Hospital Jeddah), telling me that Maijidda has answered the divine call that we must all wait for. I do remember the last words u whispered to me “Tell Babuwa to pray for me, I need his prayers” and also some words of inspiration u put into me, this I will evermore live to appreciate and remember. As u leave u left me with the undying memories of our trip to Köln when I couldn’t withstand the temperature of 5 degrees Celsius which is far different from the one in Nigeria and you had to take off your jacket and cover me with it; And also when we went on hajj and how u pampered me like a baby at 22 while the rest of the entourage looks with a surprise and started calling me “babyn Hajia” As regards to your charismatic personality, u gave conventional life a shining example of a decent, supportive, hardworking and dedication of a wife and mother. You address people with one of the best manners rarely seen; as you oftentimes put ravishing smiles into faces with a warm sense of exchanging pleasantries. If discipline can be nicknamed on a personage I would name u “Mother of Discipline”. You all charmed us with your lively sense of humor of calling a spade by its very own name, even when the conditioning system momentarily demands otherwise. Not a single day that passes without him (Dad) asking Allah (swt) to forgive and grant you Jannah, for he has known what a great loss it is to lose a pillar in his life, as u gave him all he needed 2 excel including understanding, peace of the mind, calmness and uncanny love. Also not forgetting the neighbours, family and friends whom you’ve touched their lives positively; The ocean of tears glinted from the peoples eyes who trooped over to condole with us, squarely defines how touching and mind boggling your death strikes, as the love and admiration they have for you cant be defined. It is quite melancholic that death could snatch you away at that point in time. U are a contented wife solidly by your husband, and also the ever-caring mother of your children, A wonderful hostess, you are always willing to welcome all and sundry to your home. Alas, all that is gone with your demise! Your life you lived to the fullest, even though your days were few, I do miss you but in my heart I smile knowing you’re free from earth’s painful struggles, dangers and difficulties. I am here weeping, grieving and being inconsolable with the agony of your demise, I was browsing through my pictures I saw the pictures we had while waiting 4 d train @ pohlmanstrasse, the one on mount Arafat and also the one you, Sarah n I had on departing for Nigeria.

No amount of encomiums and tribute showered on you can compensate the degree of comfort and motivation you put into us as children, friends and family, the humble thing I can do is to pray that the Almighty shall wrap you in his loving arms and wash away all the pains and tears of leaving us and make you whole again, take you to the heavenly place called JANNATUL FIRDAUS for all your sadness to trail away. As I draw curtains to this tribute, I tend to realize that if you can come back to this world and thee filt unseen around us, it shall be us cutting around with our prayers on to you.

Lastly, may Allah grant unto your soul, the elatedness of the eternal bliss, the fortune to rejoice in the beatitude of his divine presence and give us the fortitude to bear the irredeemable loss, Amin. I Miss you loads my Hajia as you sleep in the bosom of the most High.