I think it was about 3 weeks post-break up before I was able to start to function properly again. It takes time. Don't push it, and it will come.
3 months post-break up, I finally had my epiphany that I needed to move on. My biggest regret was spending the first 2 months thinking we would get back together. I think it's only natural to hope for that, but Since i can, I set those thoughts aside and gave myself time to heal before thinking about any sort of reconciliation.
One of the musicians I know, Sam Roberts, has a line in a song that says "stay true to your friends, cause they'll save you in the end". He's right. Don't sit in your room feeling sorry for yourself. Go out with your friends and go to the movies, shows, or the mall or anything. Don't be by yourself. Use your family as a similar resource coz that's what I did.
A friend of mine, An Air force Officer used to come down to Kano from his base in Kaduna then, just to cheer me up and help me come out of the break-up, even though he sometimes mock me about it. I do watch some Indian and American series on TV so as to help me get off my Ex and to even crack a smile. That's a big deal post-break up!
EVERYONE goes through this. Our parents did, our friends have, and same goes for our future soul mate. I felt like crap then, but it faded. So don't feel like you're alone, because you're not.
I used music to my advantage. There are inevitably songs that reminds me of my ex. I deleted them then. I put them back on my MMC later. I listened to those songs that i can relate to in my current state. Quite frankly, they aren't hard to find! I did go for a walk by myself with my music gathering my thoughts.
There is no rule that says you need to have contact or remain friends with your ex. I don't care how tight-knit your mutual circle of friends is. My ex and I had a ton of mutual friends. Things will work themselves out. You may lose contact with a couple of friends, but that's just the nature of life. Your true friends will stick to you, I'm glad mine did.
In the same vein, I don't need to try to remain friends with the friends of my ex. Those who wanted to leave, I let them go coz they're going to be looking out for my ex before me, and i don't need to put up with that.
Also I didn't make my friends choose sides. I don't wanna be like that. If my friends wants to stay in touch with both of us, I let them. Again, over time, it will work itself out and they'll likely drift away from one of us and closer to the other, which some did. I allowed the chips to fall where they may.
If you must gather up all the love letters, pictures and gifts your ex gave you during your relationship and throw them away, then so be it. I put mine in a shoebox and have it under my bed. I don't ever look in it, but I figure I might want to look back on those memories years or decades from now. When I'm old and grey, I think that box might be fun to look through again.
Some may disagree with this point, and I'll respect that, but a genuine hate for my ex is what got me over the hump and pushed me to move on. I won't go into details of what happened, but I went from wanting to get back together to never wanting to see her again. It helped immensely.
No need to jump into another relationship to prove something to yourself or your ex or anyone else. I took as much time to mentally heal before even considering another relationship.
I'm only now at a place where I feel comfortable getting into another relationship. This is exactly 1 year post-break up. Everyone is different, but I took as much time as I needed . I sometimes slowly remember the perks of being single, not answering to anyone. Being able to check out girls who walk by without getting grief, doing what I want, when I want it.
Every day, the pain becomes less and less. It took time, but at the end, i eventually bounced back stronger than ever.
I found some of my own songs that gets me through the break-up. One of mine is a song by Enrique Iglesias called "I will survive" here are my favourite lines:
"You like to think
That you'll be only one who understands me with it
And you tell everyone
That I can't live without you even for one day
But who gave you the right
To talk about the way I feel so deep inside
Now I realize, you were never mine, we were never right
Baby, you will find
I will survive
I'm gonna make it through
Just give me time
I will get over you
I will survive
No matter what you do
Just need to see
I will get over you
'Cause baby, we'll survive
'Cause baby, we'll survive
What makes you think
That I don't see the way you made a fool of me
To laugh behind my back
'Cause what goes around I promise you goes back
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