They say “Life goes on” and “It gets easier with time” well, I can tell you life doesn’t go on, nothing is ever and will ever be the same again. Its been twelve years since she left us, twelve good years of not having my phone ring at sundown asking about my whereabouts, twelve solid years of not been asked if i’ve eaten or not, all these are gone with her demise.
Hajia was a daughter, a sister, a niece, a cousin, an aunt, a mother and a grandmother to the grandkids she never met. We all love and appreciate her in our lives, many times the appreciation comes after meeting and interacting with other mothers. Hajia’s outstanding qualities are ever glaring even to those who doesn’t have any, She’ll never tell you that Black is White just because she doesn’t want Black, she’ll rather say, this is Black, but i’d prefer White. Hajia was vocal, she stood up for the voiceless and was always in support of whatever my dad supports even if it wasn’t what she wanted, as long as its the right thing, i know Hajia wasn’t alone, there are countless mothers out there built with the same impenetrable principles, even when the conditioning system momentarily demands otherwise.
There are a few things more difficult than saying goodbye to your mother knowing its the last time you’ll be seeing her, but i’m glad i had the opportunity. Not a single day passes without me remembering what it used to be to have my mother around, the good thing about that subtle reminder is that i always pray for her, I always carry with me the precious memories i had with her. Our trips together was more of an adventure, while many saw her as my sibling because of her smallish nature wherever we go, little did they know that she gave birth to me and my siblings, one of which is six years older than me.
Hajia has given me countless of gifts while she was alive, one of which is about forgiveness. I was, she says, an earnest little boy who was disinclined to forgive when wronged, and she worked overtime to teach me how to forgive and to let go, a lesson that i like to think i’m still learning, given the myriad absurdities of this world. I will never forget how funny and loving she was, her beautiful smile and laughter, i will miss out a relationship with my mother, a relationship i once took for granted.
The day after we buried her was the loneliest day of my life, as i had to take the long flight back home alone. Hajia was self disciplined and she made sure she raised us on that same path, she instilled in us the ability to choose to do what we know we should do, rather than what we want to do, and this gave us the strength to withstand hardships and difficulties, both physically, emotionally and mentally. One of the greatest gifts my Dad gave us, was choosing a Mother for us in Hajia.
Hajia might be far away from reach, but she forever lives in Us. Rest in peace my Hajia❤️, till we meet to part no more.
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